The lawn is mowed. The garden is weeded. And the stress is still there, with a voice in Sharon’s head getting louder by the minute. Just have a couple glasses of wine. You’d feel better. Vera’s voice says something else. You’ll be boring. You won’t fit in. For two years after her daughter died, a drink was the only way she could cry. Feeling your feelings without alcohol is scary when a drink has always been the thing that made them bearable. So what happens if you let the feeling stay? Coaches Cole and Hayley offer curiosity as the first step, and a way to feel safe taking it.
Ready to take the next step on your journey? Explore free resources, programs, social links, and more at learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources. You’ll also find information about The Path and how coaching can support your goals. Plus, if you have your own Naked Life story, you can submit it there. Until next week, stay curious.
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Sharon travels a lot for work. She’s away from her family, away from two teenagers who have struggles of their own, and the stress lands in her body as tension and sometimes nausea. “I want it to go away. I want to get rid of it.”
Some days she can ride the craving out. “This will pass. This will pass. I know it will.” And some days, “it’s just so loud.”
She knows the relief is a lie. Alcohol raises cortisol, the body’s stress hormone. “Ultimately, I feel more stressed, I feel more anxious.” So why does she still want a drink when she’s stressed? And if she stops pushing the feeling away, what then? Let it in?
“How could I possibly accept it?”
It feels scary. She goes looking anyway, and there it is, right under her heart. Small. Tight. Dark. “Heavy and dense and stuck.” It wants her attention. “I see you,” she tells it. What does it say back?
Vera’s daughter was 17 years and eight months old, to the day. That was seven years ago, and these days the tears come without a drink. “I’m able to cry on my own, which is huge.”
She is 45 days alcohol-free and proud of every one. So why can’t she let go of the idea of one or two glasses of wine, a cocktail here and there? “The good witch and the bad witch are both arguing with each other.”
Then the real fear comes out. “Being left out of things is a big deal for me.” The thought of fitting in without a drink takes her straight back, and she isn’t 51 anymore. She’s the kid who got picked on, watching the other kids go home to “houses that weren’t on wheels.” Her chest goes tight. “Oh, that’s a deep wound.”
That little girl is still hurting, and Vera thinks “sometimes she drinks over that.” What if the place she needs to fit in is a lot closer to home?
“I never thought about fitting in with myself. That’s a new concept for me.”
Cole Harvey is a Certified This Naked Mind Senior Coach. For years, he felt lost and used alcohol to cope, until he decided to go alcohol-free and focus on finding his purpose. Through curiosity, self-compassion, and adventure, he transformed his life. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps young men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning.
Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/
Hayley Scherders is a certified This Naked Mind Senior Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Drawing from personal experiences, Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. She believes that with the right mindset, anyone can change their life at any time.
Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/
Episode links:
nakedmindpath.com
How I Stopped Using Alcohol For Stress Relief | Naked Life Story | EP 715
Is Life Boring Without Alcohol? | Reader Question | EP 342
A: It’s scary to even picture, isn’t it? Sharon felt that too. She had pushed stress away for so many years that letting it be there sounded impossible. So she got curious about where she felt it, a tight spot under her heart, and asked what it needed. It just needed her to let it be there.
A: Because a part of you is trying to help! Your body is in distress and your brain grabs the thing that has always worked fast. Alcohol numbs it for a little while and then hands the stress right back, which Annie Grace explains in Why Do I Drink When I’m Stressed? Sharon feels it every time: “Ultimately, I feel more stressed, I feel more anxious.”
A: You’re not boring, and neither is Vera. She does stand-up comedy and rides motorcycles, and she was still scared a good friend would think so. That fear is usually an old hurt about being left out. It took Vera a month to work up to telling her friend, and when she did, it “felt like a million bucks.”
A: That’s yours to decide, and nobody here will tell you what to do. If your head says moderation hasn’t worked and your heart is still hanging on, you’re right where Vera is. Get curious about what you’re holding on to. Is there something about being a non-drinker that scares you?
A: The Path is This Naked Mind’s year-long program, with live coaching like the sessions Sharon and Vera have here. Both of them joined in February 2026. If you want a coach beside you while you work through this, The Path is the place for it.
Did This Naked Mind, The Path, or The Alcohol Experiment help you find freedom from drinking? Share your story (you can remain anonymous!) and you could be featured on an episode of This Naked Mind Podcast to inspire others.
Special music thank you to the Kevin MacLeod Funkorama (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
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This Naked Mind was founded by bestselling author Annie Grace, whose book This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life has helped hundreds of thousands of people around the world change their relationship with alcohol — without shame, without rules, and without feeling like something is wrong with them.
This Naked Mind’s approach is rooted in neuroscience, psychology, and the lived experience of real people who’ve been exactly where you are. The podcast, the books, The Alcohol Experiment, and The Path program all operate from the same core belief: that you are not broken, and that lasting change comes from understanding — not willpower.
Whether you’re curious about alcohol, trying to figure out how to stop drinking, or looking for a way to finally feel at home in your own life, This Naked Mind meets you where you are.
