Sometimes the journey to freedom from alcohol has a lot of peaks and valleys; curves and turns; and stops along the way. For Annie’s guest, Terrance, this journey began with what seemed to be an ‘incredible romance’ with alcohol that started in Napa, CA. But did the romance wear off? Listen in as Terrance shares his personal journey and find out what speed bumps, twists and unexpected detours he encountered along the way to living a naked life.
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Like a lot of us, I have a pretty epic saga of drinking, but it started when I was a freshman in high school. The party I was at was this huge house in Napa, California. It’s actually next to the vineyard as cliché as that is. As soon as I started drinking, I realized that this was the beginning of an incredible romance with alcohol. I just remember just holding the bottle of vodka at a pretty much 90 degree angle and just chugging it. The next thing I knew, I was waking up on the volleyball court at the house covered in my own vomit and Taco Bell.
I actually didn’t really drink much after that sans a few occasions for the rest of high school because I actually ended up joining a Christian youth group. Joining a youth group to really just to not be in my house and to be around other people. I finally found a crew of people who were from my side of the tracks. We all skateboarded and I started playing drums there. Upon reflection, it really saved my life. I didn’t drink until I stopped going to that church, which was around when I was 18.
A Cure For Anxiety
When I was younger, I’ve always struggled with anxiety, I felt really just not comfortable in my skin growing up. The best way to describe it is I just felt sick all the time. I had a lot of fear. There’s a lot of things for me to fear in my life, both at home and outside of home. I not surprisingly had anxiety issues. When I was behind the bar, it was terrifying. I just remember realizing that I could drink while working because no one was really paying attention, and in California at the time, they weren’t that strict on bartenders not drinking. I drank, and I just realized that I could deal with stress with alcohol and my anxiety would be manageable, at least temporarily.
Worldwide Romance With Alcohol
My romance with alcohol would take me all over California, over to Europe, down to Guatemala and up to the Pacific Northwest. While the scenery might change – my drinking stayed consistent. Wherever I went – I drank. As I continued to drink, my anxiety kept increasing and soon my depression followed.
Highs And Lows
There were a lot of peaks and valleys. I think as time progressed, the valleys got a little wider and a little deeper and the peaks didn’t. They weren’t as high. I graduated college. I kept doing all these things that I never thought I’d be able to do. Graduate college. I ended up getting a job with a nonprofit as part-time, so I continued to bartend. The money was obviously not great with the nonprofit, but it was good with the bar work. I just kept that up, kept treating my anxiety with booze, kept playing music, which all these scenes really cultivated drinking.
Can you relate to Terrance’s romance with alcohol? Start reading This Naked Mind to learn how to end that toxic relationship. Download the first 40 pages for free today!
Listen to the complete podcast to hear how Terrance ended his romance with alcohol and how This Naked Mind helped!
Special music thank you to the Kevin MacLeod Funkorama (incompetech.com)
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