For years and years, I tried to cut back on my drinking. I wanted to find a solution that allowed me to just drink less and still enjoy life. Moderating, limiting the number of drinks, the days or weeks I drank, the size of my drinks, the type of alcohol I drank. If there was a way to attempt moderation I did it. And without fail I always, always went back to drinking as much as or even more than I was drinking before. Finally, I realized the secret: your solution needs to be as big as your problem.
Solve The Right Problem
It’s true that your solution needs to be as big as your problem. But, you also need to make sure you’re solving the right problem. I thought my problem was that I just couldn’t figure out how to moderate my drinking. That wasn’t it at all. My problem was the cognitive dissonance in my head. I was drinking even when I no longer found any pleasure from it. It wasn’t moderation I needed to figure out – it was why I was still doing something I no longer desired.
Do You Have A Problem With Alcohol?
Wondering if you might have a problem with alcohol? This e-book can help answer some of your questions and guide you in what your next steps should be. Download it now!
Mountain or Molehill
Not only does your solution need to be as big as your problem, but you also need to bring the same amount or more energy to solving it as you did to creating it. If you’ve ever tried to calm down a child (or an adult …) having a tantrum, you know that you need to meet or beat their energy level in order to calm them. Now that doesn’t mean screaming and shouting, it means putting in as much calming energy as they are putting into their anger. That same principle applies to the problems we create in our lives.
You need to put as much time, energy, and motivation into not drinking as you did into drinking. That means being prepared to work through big feelings, stressful events, and whatever else comes your way without alcohol.
Making Your Solution As Big As Your Problem
How do you make your solution as big as your problem? Well, first you need to be prepared to dedicate the same amount of time – if not more – to solve your problem as you did to create it. That means a 30-day break from alcohol probably won’t solve a decade of drinking too much. No, alcohol won’t be this thing hanging over your head for another 10 years but getting to a point where alcohol is no longer an issue can take upwards of a year.
I know that seems overwhelming but it doesn’t need to be. If you don’t feel prepared to create the solution on your own when it comes to drinking, the PATH takes the planning out of the equation for you. Not only does it have a daily framework for you to follow but there’s also coaching, a vault of resources, and more – a BIG solution to a BIG problem.
Factors To Success
Are there any secrets to success when creating your solution?
First, drop your weapons of blame and shame. They won’t help you and only hold you back. In fact, they are part of the problem. Your solution needs to be based on grace and compassion. Those two things are scientifically proven to be influential at establishing lasting change and success.
Second, this isn’t a solo job. You had drinking buddies. Now you need alcohol-free buddies – people who are going through or have gone through the same things you have. A support system. That can be hard to find in person right now but virtual options abound!
Finally, don’t be afraid to keep adding to your toolbox and searching out more solutions. It’s okay if what you try at first doesn’t work for you. That doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it means it wasn’t the right solution for you. Try something or however many somethings it takes until you find what does work for you!