Many of us have thought that there is no way I am saving my life from alcohol. Leah found that there was but it took stripping down all the beliefs she knew and getting naked, exposed and raw.
I want to reach out and tell you that This Naked Mind (and YOU) saved me. Truly – I am not exaggerating here. To introduce myself, I am a 34-year-old mother of two. I drank all through my 20’s. I stopped in 2011 when I got pregnant with my baby girl. She was my motivation to quit drinking. In 2016, after a traumatic experience, I picked up right where I left off. I could never control my booze, even though this denial expert that was living inside of me told me otherwise.
It Was Bad
So, in 2016, when my girl was at the tender age of 5, I threw caution to the wind (or threw caution to a Category 4 hurricane.) It was terrible. I am a stay-at-home mom with a hard-working husband. It was so bad that he would have to come home from work to take care of our little girl. I would have withdrawal seizures in front of her. Good God, I hope that I have not permanently scarred her.
Flash forward to June 2017, I became pregnant for the second time. I gave up the booze at four weeks pregnant and in Feb. 2018, gave birth to an incredibly healthy baby boy. I told myself that he was going to be my antidote for not drinking. I mean…. it “worked” the first time around, it had to work again, right? Wrong. Just three weeks after giving birth to him, I went to a restaurant and ordered a 10% alc. craft beer and that ‘feeling’ set in. Knowing I was in trouble, I picked up formula on my way home, more beer, and got out my Medela breast pump. Did what I “had to do” to drink my booze and not introduce alcohol to a three-week-old baby. I couldn’t believe it. I felt absolutely powerless.
Like I Never Stopped
I knew what I was doing was selfish and wrong but something inside me didn’t give an F. I picked up where I left off. A bottle of wine every night and three strong beers. So, what happened? In June of this year, after having consumed way too much and sobbing in my living room at 2 a.m., I prayed to whatever force out there, to please please help me. Saying that I was going to die if I continued to drink and leave my two babies behind. It was awful. I then (in the early morning) began searching the internet for something or someone that could help. I was interested in saving my life from alcohol. Someone who would have the antidote. The magic elixir. I knew that I was a freight train.
This Naked Mind
I then came across your book. I read the many positive reviews, hopeful that this would be the answer to saving my life from alcohol. At around 3 a.m., I purchased the audiobook, told myself I would give it a listen the next day, and went to bed. The next day, I listened to the first two chapters. I felt some relief, as you were very reassuring and optimistic. Told myself that during the day I wasn’t going to drink! I was going to stick with it! Well…that didn’t happen. My denial expert took the wheel and said “yeah, right. Drink your poison.” I felt so guilty the next day. Like I had let myself and many down. You being one of the many. I put aside your audiobook for a couple of weeks and after (once again) having had one too many, picked it up again right where I left off.
Try, Try and Try Again
I continued to listen more and more. Trying to get through at least a chapter a day. I knew something was happening inside of me, but I didn’t know what. Saving my life from alcohol was crucial to me. Fast forward to this past July 20th, my husband and I went to OK City for the weekend. On that Saturday, my husband and I went to a brewery. I, of course, drank a copious amount of beer. To the point twhere I could not walk a straight line if you put $100k on the table. The following morning, waking up in a Hilton, I had three seizures. It was terrible. My husband blamed himself for not monitoring my drinking, but it was not his fault. I would sneak beers while he was socializing/congregating with others. Leaving the hotel, I clutched onto my phone for dear life, went to the audiobooks app and told my husband that I needed to listen to you on the 4 hr. drive home. And that’s what I did.
Have you asked yourself is there any way of saving my life from alcohol? Start reading This Naked Mind today to find out.
Flipping The Switch
I listened to the rest of your book (with a lot of tears and “ugly cries”) and after that Sunday, July 22nd, I gave up booze for the 2nd time. It’s like the switch was flipped and the desire to drink left my brain/body. I couldn’t believe it at first. But as the days went on, then weeks, I knew I that my unconscious had finally caught up with my conscious desire to quit drinking. It’s like a light was turned on inside my head and I had so much clarity, but also anger. Anger at booze for what it had put me through. Angry that I live in a society that treats booze so damn casually to the point where the denial expert inside of me could easily justify drinking daily.
Share Your Story
Thank you for flipping my switch. For letting your truths sink into my brain and vacuuming up all the crap. Thank you for shining a light on all of the realizations that I all too easily ignored. You’re one of my favorite people of all time, Annie Grace. Thank you for saving my life from alcohol. Please be like Leah and share your story to help others!