Like so many others Jillian was duped into thinking that mom wine would help with parenting stress. It didn’t but using This Naked Mind did help!
I bought your book back in 2017. I’m not sure what life event prompted the decision to Google sober literature and stumble upon your book. It wasn’t the time I fell down the stairs holding my daughter (we were both OK). Sadly, the time I backed my car up into another car wasn’t it either. Both of those events happened months after I cracked This Naked Mind. If I had to guess, it was after a typical weeknight where I drank a magnum bottle of Cavit Pinot Grigo. Always resulting in an argument with my husband and 3AM anxiety.
Connecting With This Naked Mind
No matter, I read your book and said YES! YES YES YES! Holy crap, this makes sense. She’s figured it out! I remember powering through the chapters late night in bed and wanting to call all the people and tell them. Alcohol is poison! We are being brainwashed, don’t you see?! And it’s all for money, they don’t care about our lives!!! They’re profiting from our addiction to this drug! How messed up is that?!?! Anyway, I didn’t call anyone, but I did do my first 30 days sober. Then, because of one reason or another I had a drink. I mean I could moderate, I deserve this!
I’m a new mom who never properly grieved the loss of her own mom. I need this. I can’t do this alone. Therapy? I don’t have time to shower, how could I go to therapy? I can’t walk out of eye sight from my baby without her crying. Wine. Yes, wine will help. I just need to know when to stop is all. Spoiler alert, it did not help. I could not moderate, and mom wine made everything exponentially worse.
Fast forward to that summer when I was visiting my father and slipped down the stairs holding my daughter. I don’t remember much, because I blacked out. I do remember the awful shame that came with it. You’d think that was my rock bottom but it wasn’t. So many other scenarios come to mind. All rock bottom convincers piling up, waiting for me to wake up and really take a good look at them. All caused by my treat – mom wine!
So last year around this time I was struggling. My husband was traveling more and more and I was alone with my 3 year old. I had very little help so I drank my mom wine. Drinking to escape and make the days go quicker. I just needed him to come home so I wasn’t in it alone. When he finally did come home, I was coming off a bender. It was clear that things were really out of hand and I needed to stop. When I sat down with him to tell him I needed to stop, for real this time, he looked at me and said he could tell this time is different, and I could too. In the two years since I had first picked up your book I must had read it 4 or 5 times. That day when I started it again it really felt different. This time it was like I found the missing puzzle piece that so many people seemed to have found once they read it. Voila, they’re AF and don’t miss it at all.
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Lucky To Feel This Way
I remember a month or so into my sobriety thinking:
Holy shit this is happening! I’m seriously going to be one of those people who doesn’t drink. Like, people are going to offer me a drink and I’m going to politely decline. I’ll say, no thank you, I don’t drink.
All of a sudden my depression and anxiety was less and less. I was finding myself in situations where I found courage in myself that I never had before. I remember thinking, if I were a drinker, even if I was completely sober at the moment, I wouldn’t have this courage. How strange it is that I can go about this activity with no anxiety. It almost felt like I was cheating at life. I still feel that way, like I’m cheating. I handle life better and it’s so raw and real to feel all the feelings. To quote Lauren McKowen in We Are the Luckiest, “We got to see both sides and now we’re here and it’s pretty freaking spectacular.”
The Missing Piece
If I had to guess what the missing puzzle piece is this time, I would say that I changed the way I viewed alcohol. I no longer look at it as something that benefits me. I see it for the poison it is. I’m not denying myself, if anything I’m giving myself a gift by choosing not to use mom wine. Granted the unconscious conditioning still needs to be put into check from time to time. There are still times where I look at my family or friends drinking wine and feel like I’m missing out. I have to remind myself what’s really going on there, or I play the tape forward, but those times and few and far between now.
So Annie, I just wanted to thank you. I’m sure you get hundreds of these letters, so if you actually took the time to read mine I really appreciate it. You are doing amazing work. You are contributing to the awakening that is happening in our society. A beautiful movement that is going to change the future for us and our children. As a side note – I love your podcast. It got me through the first 6 months. Hearing other people’s stories made me feel less alone and that was especially helpful when I was feeling so vulnerable in the beginning.
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Did you say goodbye to the mom wine with This Naked Mind? Do you have your own freedom story that others can connect with? We want to hear it! Share your story to be featured on the blog as well!