All these years and I’ve never written a Naked Life story of my own! Can you believe it? Here’s the story of how I broke free from alcohol.
Where It All Started
I was in a hugely successful international marketing career. I was in charge of 28 countries. Flying all over the world. In a span of two years, I visited an astonishing 22 countries. International trips were first-class and just a hugely kind of boozy culture so I was drinking a lot on the airplanes, in the airplane lounges, at the networking events, at the business dinners, at the corporate dinners and this went on for quite a long time.
There was a moment when we were over in the UK, it was me, my husband, and our two kids at the time. We were taking our kids to see the London Eye but I was feeling like crap. Hungover from the night before and needing something to make me feel better. I stuffed two big beers in my bag thinking it would make me feel better and provide the relief I needed. I pull one of the beers out and accidentally dropped it. This huge can of beer hits the ground and just explodes in slow motion all over my kids. A three and a five-year-old just standing there drenched in beer. It was funny, but not funny, in all the worst ways.
My Eyes Were Opened
That moment was gut-wrenching. I felt like I wanted to puke. It was horrible and embarrassing. It was 10 in the morning and I just drenched my kids in beer. Why did a few beers sound like a good idea at 10 a.m.? Why couldn’t I just hang out with my children? What was happening to me? I felt very pained in that moment. There I was putting a really good face on and laughing it off but I was dying inside.
The question that haunted me was “Who am I?” The terrifying answer was that I no longer knew.
How I Broke Free From Alcohol
That question led to how I broke free from alcohol. I made a conscious desire to just cut back and drink less. In my mind, it was going to be easy. That moment was embarrassing and I didn’t want to drink so much. So I just wouldn’t. What I didn’t count on was the two competing voices in my head.
One would say “You’re not going to drink today. You are taking a break. Alcohol’s not that great.” It was easy to believe and listen to that voice until five o’clock rolled around. That is when the other voice would start chiming in, “It’s been such a long day! You deserve it. The kids are screaming. Just a little to relax!” I couldn’t win this battle inside my brain.
The Unrelenting Pain
At the same point in my life, I’d been undergoing about three years of the most excruciating back pain. My youngest son was three years old and it began right when he was born. I tried every treatment known to man and nothing helped. Chiropractor, muscle relaxers, massage, traction – the list is endless. The only constant was the pain. Finally, I was turned on to a book by Dr. John Sarno called Healing Back Pain. At the beginning of the book, he states that sometimes when back pain is undiagnosable and nothing works it’s actually repressed unconscious emotions. Your mind is protecting itself from this deep pain you have inside. It does that by not letting oxygen go to your muscles and you have excruciating pain and that protects you from thinking things that you know are too painful for you to think.
That shook me. I also thought it was woowoo crazy stuff but after tens of thousands of dollars of treatment didn’t work – what harm could applying the book do? Sarno states that by reading the book you can bring your unconscious mind in alignment with your conscious mind and bring awareness to the issue which is the source of your pain. What did I have to lose?
I read this book and the day after I finished it I was able to pick up my son. For much of his childhood, I hadn’t been able to pick him up. It was incredible to be completely released from that pain!
Would This Help Me Break Free From Alcohol?
During this time of drinking, something came back to me from this experience. I feel like I have this conscious desire to make a really powerful and important change in my life and my drinking. Yet, I have this deep-seated, very powerful, unconscious belief that I need alcohol. In my mind I needed alcohol to relax, to network, to be creative, to get promoted. Alcohol was necessary for hanging out with my kids, being a good mom, to have sex with my husband. It was integral to my life. I believed these things like I believe the sky is blue. My mind was stuck on the belief that alcohol was vital and important in my life.
Until I addressed those beliefs it was always going to be a battle. There would always be this huge amount of willpower to overcome it. I reached out to Dr. Sarno and was put in touch with a colleague of his. During a two-hour Skype call I asked, “Would this approach work for alcohol? For my emotional attachment to alcohol?” He assured me that Dr. Sarno himself had stated this would work with things like alcohol use disorder.
Research and Science-Based
I started a year’s worth of research. Going through it and saying how can I change my unconscious conditioning and conscious beliefs? I researched all different methods, read books, poured through medical studies. About a year later I remember walking out of my office and telling my husband, “If you want to get drunk with me tonight’s the night! After tonight I’m not drinking again!” He looked at me like, “Are you insane? You’ve been drinking at least a bottle, sometimes two, a night for the last decade. And now, you’re just done?” So I said yes and we split a bottle of wine. I had planned to just get drunk. One last hurrah, but I ended up getting really sick which I took as a sign from the universe that this was my time to be done. I woke up the next morning and I haven’t looked back.
Listen To How I Broke Free From Alcohol
Read the Research
You can access all my research and the techniques I used to find my freedom from alcohol in This Naked Mind. Start reading the book for free now!
Share Your Story
This journey may have started with my story but it continues with each and every one of you that choose to live a Naked Life yourself. Share your story and inspire others to find their freedom and control over alcohol!