Michele needed to leave the grips of alcohol. It was no longer helping her cope and had become a personal prison. Read how This Naked Mind broke those chains.
Alcohol was insignificant in my life as a child. I am blessed that I didn’t have to deal with a heavy drinker in my family. I was (and still am) an athlete, so I wasn’t tempted by alcohol in high school. I did dabble in some drinks the summer after my senior year. It was a Budweiser and yes, as the book states: It was absolutely disgusting. In college, I partied and drank, but nothing remarkable or out of the “norm”. Life continued on with adventure and travel and some drinking, but nothing that I remember as a problem….until I found myself in Florida in my late 20’s.
Fun In The Sun
This is where I can say alcohol sort of “grabbed” me. There is something about Florida that can really grab the “average” drinker and allow the beast of alcohol to take over. Maybe because every beach is littered with beach bars and it seems every song you hear about the beach or the sun involves drinking… there are many nights and weekends I don’t remember, but I was the “fun” girl, popular, cute, a “cool party chick”.
A Better Life
Fast forward… I moved back to my home state of Maine, was searching for a better lifestyle, and hoped to start a family. That I did.
I’m now married with two stepdaughters and a son. I have a good job and am well respected. I coach basketball and I am perceived as a bubbly, always happy ray of sunshine. Upon moving home to Maine, my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was fortunate enough to care for him until his passing, but the loss left a hole in my heart that will never heal. Following his passing, my family and I began living with and caring for my mom (my parents were a little older). I found myself with a lot to juggle: having a baby, two step-daughters, managing a career, caring for my mom and dealing with life’s everyday stressors.
This is where I started turning to wine (the perceived relieve all stress elixir). My mom passed suddenly (after a period of declining health) while at her weekly dialysis appointment. I witnessed the doctors trying to save her and I held her during her last breath. The grief and shock was unbearable. Losing my dad was tough, but the sudden loss of my mom in front of my eyes was excruciating. My drinking became heavier and more frequent. On the outside I tried to remain my bubbly, happy self and deal with my grief privately – just me and my wine. Looking back now, I can say this is when my drinking escalated and the “beast’ claimed me as his.
The Grips of Alcohol
Often on my way home from work, I would stop for a “road soda'”. My go-to relief for stress was a bottle of wine and maybe a couple of my husband’s beers. If I had a day off from work, I would run my errands and maybe around 1:00 have a beer or two or three before shamelessly picking my son up from school. Popping a piece of gum and praying no one would know I had a good buzz on at 3:00 in the afternoon. A trip to the grocery store was never complete with out a large Twisted Tea to sip on the way home. I was firmly stuck in the grips of alcohol. Picking out a drink would be determined by what had the highest alcohol content.
The Party Never Ends
Any night out with my husband or a social event would end with me being absolutely shit-faced. The morning after would be filled with regret and shame. The headaches and the hangovers got worse and my self-loathing for not being a “cute little drinker” increased.
I was constantly battling with myself – telling myself “I will only drink on Friday and Saturday” and then hating myself on Wednesday night as I downed a bottle of wine. I gained weight, developed rosacea, and continued the battle in my mind.
I contemplated AA, but I am pretty well-known in my community, so the idea of publicly exposing my addiction absolutely petrified me. Next, I tried an online app to quit drinking, but honestly, got tired of everyone’s posts. I continued to drink and the side-effects got worse…heart palpitations, shakiness, anxiety, and depression. Finally stumbling upon This Naked Mind, I devoured the book in 2 days. Now I am free from the grips of alcohol.
Would you like to get free from the grips of alcohol? You can preview the book! Start reading This Naked Mind today!
It Was the Alcohol
I realize now that it’s not me. No – I am not weak!! I am not pathetic for not having control. Alcohol is addictive to everyone. The liminal points in the book have had such a profound effect on me, I can’t even put it into words. I have gone from literally thinking about alcohol ALL day to not thinking about it all!! Well, except every once in a while when I stop and notice that I haven’t craved the poison at all – AT ALL! And I tell myself how proud I am. I want everyone to experience this freedom. My mission is in helping others, especially busy, stressed out moms who are trying to do their best and drowning themselves in wine. That was me. I have so much less stress now and I am literally GIDDY!!
Share Your Story
This is my long story short about leaving the grips of alcohol. But I thank you Annie Grace for saving me, I hope my story can help someone else. Please share your story to help others!