EP 41: Relationships, Marriage & Alcohol with Stacey Martino

Download EP:41 Transcript

Stacey Martino is a relationship expert with so much energy and passion to help others have the best relationships they can. In this podcast, Stacey and Annie discuss the strain alcohol can have on relationships and most surprisingly, the difficulty that is often created when someone in the relationship begins to make positive changes. Stacey provides some amazing insight into how to start the process of mending hurt relationships in order to move forward together.


Stacey Martino believes that it only takes one partner to transform any relationship. And you’re absolutely passionate about empowering people with a relationship education that nobody ever teaches us. Stacey and her husband Paul founded RelationshipDevelopment.org, creators of RelationshipU, and it’s really for personal development on your relationship. We’ll be talking today about how relationships and alcohol are intertwined.

Relationships and Alcohol

There is so much synergy not just in our topics but because we both serve people who are in relationships and have families. Relationships and alcohol is a marriage topic as much as it is anything else. Our methodologies are also similar as a lot of it is about patterns and satisfying needs through other ways. We basically use a similar personal development type of approach to how people show up in their marriage and how they interact with their partner meaning undoing the invisible default patterns that get us into a situation that we don’t want. Followed by strategically showing up following proven patterns that really work to get us the result that we do want. There’s so much synergy in how we do that.

Relationships and Change

This specifically applies to relationships and alcohol, but I’ve seen this across the board with any big change. A big change in how I’m going to eat every single day. A big change in my fitness regime or even my morning ritual. Anytime there is a big change in what I’m going to do, working or staying at home or anytime one partner makes a big change, it directly impacts the other. This is a good and a bad thing. It’s a great thing because when you strategically follow what we teach in relationship development, which is one person learns the tools and strategies that we teach and one person shows up differently in their marriage. The other person shifts because the first person can’t not shift when one person makes a change, which you’ve just beautifully given us an example of. It can be a negative if you don’t know how to strategically shift the changes that you make, kind of put a disruption in the wheel that your partner is used to following.

Alcohol and Change

Even if your partner has been on you saying I wish you would not drink or I wish you could be more present, whatever they’re saying the minute you make a big change, you are shifting the pattern that they’re used to. That’s predictable, they almost run on autopilot with you every day. We have so much of this autopilot going on in our marriages. You know how to push the buttons of your partner and they know how to push yours. Sometimes you don’t even say what’s on your mind. You’re like oh, I know what he is going to say about that. Why even bother?  So we have many predictable, invisible patterns. The minute you change one, it’s going to take your partner some catching up to do at best to figure out what’s the new pattern. When we do that without strategic planning, what we’re doing is we’re just saying I’m just changing this. Then the partner is struggling to catch up with how do I do this? What do I do next?

Keep Listening

Tune into the complete podcast. Stacey shares the tools that allow you to coincide the shifts and changes that occur in relationships and alcohol use.

Subscribe on iTunes

Subscribe on Google Play

Special music thank you to the Kevin MacLeod Funkorama (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License