EP 284

Reader Question – How can I support a spouse who’s trying to live alcohol free?

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What can a wife to do support her husband who set a goal to stop drinking for a year, gave up alcohol for two months, and then she came home to find him drinking? Should she get angry? Give him tough love? Encourage him to keep trying? Leave him alone to wallow in his judgment and self-doubt?  Annie shares her thoughts on what exactly constitutes success and how we can take what we interpret as failure and use it to our advantage.

Right now, for the first time ever, I am doing something that I think you will find incredibly valuable and amazing. Here’s the thing, I’ve been asking myself, why do some people effortlessly stop drinking while other people struggle? Why do some people who haven’t drank in years still miss it, still feel like they’re missing out, still even feel a little self-pity? Why can’t I do that anymore? What’s going on? What’s the difference? The thing is these questions have kept me up at night and I have spent years now diving into the science, diving into literally hundreds of interviews and thousands and thousands of surveys of feedback from people trying to understand why. What makes it different? I think I finally really understand it. And I’ve put all of this together into something that I believe is one of the best things I’ve ever created.


It is a modular membership program that is coach-led so that people can find freedom faster. I read recently that the average time from when somebody recognizes a problem with alcohol to when they solve it can be up to 15 years. I know that I get thousands of emails with people saying, “Man, I’m so happy I found your work. My only regret is that I didn’t find it sooner.” So I wanted to put everything I’ve known so far, all of the research, all of the interviews, all of your experiences, all of the stories into this coach-led program that is truly customizable for you. So if you need it for a month and you find your freedom, great. But if you need to be with us for longer, that’s also fine. Right now,  for a limited time, this program is at a massive discount just because I recognize what’s going on with the world.


So if you are at all curious about this and you want to know more and you’re ready to really make alcohol small and irrelevant in your life, once and for good to not only where you’re not drinking, not stopping just at the behavior of drinking, but actually where it feels effortless not to drink. Where it feels easy, where you never feel like you’re missing out, where you always actually feel like you’re more joyful and happier. I know that’s hard to believe, and it was for me too, but it’s okay if you’re skeptical. It works anyway. If you’re curious about this at all, check it out, nakedmindpath.com. It’s open right now. It’s closing May 31st. So if you want to get in on this first-ever launch of this coach-led program, that is totally modular, that you can come and take as much time or as little time as you need to truly make alcohol small and irrelevant in your life, join me. nakedmindpath.com. I can’t wait to see you there. 

And as always, rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast as it truly helps the message reach somebody who might need to hear it today.

How To Support An Alcohol Free Spouse

A reader asks – I wanted to reach out today and ask for some advice on how to support an alcohol free spouse. Both my husband and I read and loved the book. I am choosing moderation for now. My husband decided he wanted to go all in. He set a goal for being sober for one year.

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What’s The Game Plan

One of the things I asked him was what he planned to do or think if he at any point did have any drinks. He didn’t really have a game plan and that made me nervous due to his history with depression and being quite hard on himself.

It’s been close to two months of no alcohol. I came home yesterday and knew he’d been drinking. He admitted it and immediately felt “less than.” Instead of seeing it as a “learning experience” he only saw himself as weak.

How Do I Help?

Now I am wondering how to support him right now. Do I give him tough love? Remind him that nobody is a failure? Do I encourage him to talk about it and why he decided to drink yesterday or just let it be? For me the kicker was that he was going to drive to get our children. That is where I absolutely draw the line.

So, I thought your book was so amazing. Now I’m wondering if you have any resources for the support team for alcohol free spouses. How best do we support and love them at all stages of their journey?

Highlights on ways to support an alcohol free spouse

– it’s not all or nothing
– abstinence is not the measure of success
– making alcohol small and irrelevant
– success is not a straight path
– giving yourself grace

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Special music thank you to the Kevin MacLeod Funkorama (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License


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