Sheltered and naïve, today’s guest, Brandy, went wild once she was out on her own. A whole new world of drinking, smoking, drugs, and partying led her down a path that landed her in some scary situations. But things have turned around for Brandy, thanks to her spirituality and This Naked Mind. Now, she’s providing a safe presence for those who are in the same spot she was just a few years ago.
Let me ask you a question. What is better than change? Lasting change, of course. If you’ve had trouble making change stick, either with alcohol or in any other area of your life, you are in for a treat. I created the 100 Days of Lasting Change to ensure that we don’t just change for a moment, but we truly transform for a lifetime. This program is so close to my heart. Thousands of people have been through it, and their results are incredible. But don’t take my word for it, check it out at thisnakedmind.com/100days.
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When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I partied a lot. Growing up, I was pretty sheltered so during the first part of my adult years, I just wanted to see what all was out there to be experienced. Instead, I ended up getting pregnant and having a baby when I was 20. At this point I was involved with a man who was sexually abusive. But, being a sheltered 20 year old, I didn’t realize that. I didn’t know you could be sexually assaulted by someone you were in a relationship with.
In 2004, about four months after I ended the relationship, I got a DWI. That was the beginning of my turning point. I attended an outpatient rehab, and committed to stop binge drinking. I remember just realizing that I was miserable and that I didn’t like myself and I didn’t like all of the lies and all of the things that I had to do to kind of keep up with the life that I was trying to live.
So for me, I found Jesus. For me, going back … Because I had kind of gone to church a little bit as a kid. For me, Christianity became my salvation.
I was a little put off by what I felt like was patriarchy but I couldn’t put my finger on it and I didn’t care enough. I felt like I couldn’t do it on my own. If it was up to me, I was going to destroy my life. I was headed in a path that was just screwed up.
Over the process of, I guess, the next nine months … And the DWI helped because I had to go to rehab. I had to do community service. I had to really think about my actions over the last few years.
Looking back, for a long time one of the things that I think Christianity did that was not helpful was put me in a deep state of shame. I wanted to get as far removed from that person that I used to be that I could. This time spirituality was what helped me to heal.
In 2008, I married the love of my life and we had a dry wedding.
Here We Go Again
So I thought that part was over. I thought I was done. That person in the past, there was a part of me that was always afraid I was going back there. If left to my own devices, I’ll screw the whole thing up again.
As our relationship evolved, our faith evolved. So we started to get into more progressive, I guess, Christianity. Now almost dogma free. I’m very into alternative spirituality.
As we sort of came out of that black-and-white thinking from traditional Christianity, I really struggled with, “Well is it okay to drink? If there’s so much gray in all these other areas … My issue was pot. I can have alcohol. That’s probably fine.”
I think it was fine for a while. This was in 2013. It’s just been over a year since I quit alcohol completely. But I remember in 2013 there was this thinking, “I don’t remember the last time that I didn’t have a glass of wine at night.”
It never felt out of hand but it always felt like that was … It was like mommy juice or whatever. It was a way to bond with my friends.
How To Change
Generally speaking, over the last couple of years, when I got out drinking, if I have too much, my husband is there to kind of make sure I don’t do anything stupid. But he was in Seattle.
I guess we were trying to go home. It was the end of the night. And these guys came up and they were like, “Hey. You want to go around the corner to see a friend?”
And we were like, “Yeah!”
I don’t remember any of this. I don’t remember him asking. I don’t remember saying yes.
Around the corner ended up being in his car and it was like 20 minutes down the road. I don’t remember any of this. He got pulled over because he was also drinking. So he’s talking to the cops, getting a DWI, and my friend is like, “I think we shouldn’t be here. I think we should go.”
I woke up the next day and I was mortified because I was like, “The what could have happened if he hadn’t gotten pulled over was” … It was like, “Oh my god.”
As I sat there that morning after, I was like, “I’m done. I’m never going to put myself in that position again and I think the only way to never put myself in that position again is to not drink again.”
Two things helped me. First of all, your book. Because I had experience with AA and I knew that wasn’t the route for me. So I just kind of started looking for, “What are resources that aren’t that?”
I found your book like randomly in a Barnes & Noble and bought it that day. I just devoured it.
Can you connect spirituality and the need to stop drinking in a pressure free way? Start reading This Naked Mind for free today and find out!
Listen to the podcast to hear how This Naked Mind and her spirituality are allowing Brandy to help others now!
Special music thank you to the Kevin MacLeod Funkorama (incompetech.com)
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