Annie Grace takes you Down Under today with Rachel Hind! Rachel is a wellness coach and the founder of Be Your Best Self and a professionally trained addiction and sobriety coach, as well. Rachel gets real about her history of binge drinking and admits that she was the ‘destructive friend’ of the group – always encouraging her friends to drink to excess. Taking her hard work and commitment and using it for something good, Rachel started her own wellness coaching business. Learn what resources she used (including This Naked Mind) to get back to her best life.
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I sort of really didn’t start until my 20s or 30s, late 20s, 30s where I just finished uni. I had qualified as a lawyer and accountant, and had started working in banking and finance. It was pre-GFC (global financial crisis) when it was a time of expense cards, it was a time of you celebrating success with a client by going out with a client, you celebrated winning a deal by going out drinking. It was just part of the culture, part of the banking culture.
Work Hard, Play Hard
I was working for an investment bank at the time and it was a work hard, play hard attitude. So that’s when it really started, and it was long hours, stressful, long hours followed by booze-fueled events, really. It was very much part of the culture. That’s where it started is, I would say, probably late 20s, early 30s. I don’t think it started off as a problem; it was fun, it was social. I was enjoying it, I was having a great time, so there was no way I would have associated myself with having a drinking problem.
When it really started is when I had children and when I saw the drinking was turning from the events, the work events, to habitual drinking at home. It started to leak over, and from the research I know now it’s because I was getting hooked on having alcohol. I was having it probably one to two nights with work events. Then the other nights when I wasn’t at work events, I was drinking at home. I turned to habitual drinking, both at work and at home, and then also, it was the stress of being a working mom. As a working mom, you’re trying to juggle all those balls to perfection and not get overwhelmed, and I think I was getting overwhelmed, and not really handling the stress, and obviously turning to alcohol.
I was starting to think I was drinking too much, but I was fully functioning. Still maintaining a good job, still drinking while on my job, running two kids, still doing my exercise, still going to the gym, so outwardly, I was fully functioning, but inside I was suffering. Inside I was suffering. I had massive anxiety and as I know now, Annie, with your work, that I’d feel good for the night I was drinking, and the next day, and probably the next three to five days. As you’ve told us in all the research that diprenorphine chemical kicked in, which is a lot longer than the kick you get from the dopamine that you get from the alcohol. My anxiety was bad for three to five days after, whereas my drinking, I was only having fun three to five hours. So the alcohol was like pouring gasoline on my anxiety, it was just igniting it.
History of Binge Drinking
Back then, I wasn’t one of these drinkers that was a regular drinker; I was a binge drinker. So very much I could go days without drinking, and then I would drink two bottles of wine a night. The nights I was drinking, the nights I decided I was drinking, I was drinking two bottles of wine, I was drinking vodka Red Bulls to try to stay up even longer, and it was even often at work events, it was often other recreational drinks that were happening. It was more the binge rather than the consistent drinking for me.
Having two bottles of wine, and then followed by vodkas, when I binged, I literally binged so that I didn’t want to go to bed. I didn’t want the night to end, so I would just push on, and push on, and push on. Until, like you said, I would be suffering with blackouts. I’d push on often until I would pass out. Not doing it regularly, when I decided to do it, it was going to be a big event.
Highs And Lows
Because the high was so high, what I was doing with alcohol was giving myself so much, the low was so low. Stuck in that cycle of alcohol, guilt, anxiety, self-loathing, self-sabotage, repeat. I would have a few days, start to feel better, and then it would be the cycle would repeat again. The guilt and the anxiety and the shame, the self-loathing, were immense. I was taken to drinking so much, so with the high, I got the low.
Do you have a history of binge drinking?
Do you have history of binge drinking that you’re ready to end? This Naked Mind can help! Start reading the first 40 pages for free today!
Listen to the complete podcast to hear what helped Rachel end her history of binge drinking!
Special music thank you to the Kevin MacLeod Funkorama (incompetech.com)
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