In today’s episode, Annie welcomes Carrie, who shares a complicated story of how she went from a naïve high school girl to a sorority party girl in college. Carrie gets real about her difficulties with friendships, an abusive ex-husband, single motherhood, and loss. The common denominator in how she dealt with all of this was alcohol – until now. Join Carrie as she reveals what finally enabled her to live a naked life.

Download EP:163 Transcript

My Story

I was what Claudia calls a gray area drinker for years. It’s just really hard because people don’t understand that you have a problem.
They think that, well, you’re successful and you’re raising your children, you have a beautiful home and so everything in your life must be fine. From the outside it’s totally different. I’d never really drank at all in high school. I grew up in a non drinking home. My mom actually was a single mom. She did drink when I was younger. I don’t remember it. She says I dumped her alcohol down the toilet and I don’t remember doing that.


I never really was around people that were drinking. My parents did not drink. I remember when I was 13, someone had given my mom a bottle of wine. They never had alcohol in the house. And it was my 13th birthday and I remember taking a few sips of the wine and then I just wasn’t interested in it. It just wasn’t anything that interested me. I always did well in school, always was in sports and athletics going out through high school and my parents were like you have to go to college.

College Life

It’s not a choice, you need to go. When I graduated high school that’s what I did. I went for my first year of college and it’s funny, I ended up going to SUNY Albany in New York which I didn’t know at the time, but it’s one of the biggest drinking schools. I remember my freshman year seeing all these people, the fraternities and sororities and everybody was just getting drunk and it wasn’t my thing.

Left Out

Honestly my first year there I didn’t get involved in it at all. I was very studious. Love college,  love school. Love to study which led to being isolated. I didn’t make a lot of friends because a lot of the people that went there were from the city of New York City. I was this country girl, very naive, very inexperienced. Not a very social person. Didn’t have a big group of friends, I had just a very few close friends. Towards the end of my freshman year I was feeling left out. I had a boyfriend all through high school. He was a year older, so he was in college the year before and then things started going south in our relationship and he ended up cheating on me. We had been together for like five years and broke up.

That set me up for this pattern in life where when relationships end, I drink to make myself feel better.

So that was the first time that it started. I was sophomore in college and I went back to school and I was like, well, I am going to be part of a sorority. I pledged to a sorority.

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Sorority Party Girl

This sorority then I ended up pledging was more down to Earth, I guess you could say my type of a person. It was funny because when I started pledging it, I didn’t have any idea until I was done, until I actually was in a sorority that they were known for being drunks. I didn’t know that. While I was pledging a lot of the challenges that we did rotated around drinking. It was like you have to drink a certain amount of alcohol or do a keg stand or do a funnel or all those crazy things that we did in college.

For me I never had one drink, it was never like that. It was always this full out, how much can you drink?

I mean, it was a big joke, it was fun. If I’m being honest about it, I really had a good time then.

Fitting In

This was my first experience really I would say in being social with a group ’cause I had never never belonged to a group of friends. During the school year or when school was in session almost every night it would be we were out either at a party, at a bar, at an event, always had all these different events that we would go to.  I would go home on break, I would not drink at all and it was never an issue. I didn’t drink at home.

It was funny because my nickname was the porcelain goddess because I would throw up a lot when I was in college.

And so it’s funny now because as I got older I think because I wasn’t throwing up, I kind of use that as an excuse as like, well, it’s not as bad as what I was doing. I went through college like that and I was still passing all of my classes somehow.

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Tune in to the complete podcast to hear how This Naked Mind heled Carrie finally leave the sorority party girl life behind.

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Special music thank you to the Kevin MacLeod Funkorama (
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