EP 106: Reader’s Question – Why does living alcohol-free feel lonely?

From baby showers to funerals – alcohol is everywhere we turn. Has it become the glue that holds our social life together? And what do we do with this issue of loneliness when we’re the only one not drinking? Annie Grace gives us LEGIT answers and resources to lighten the load of feeling lonely.

Episode Links:
Hip Sobriety
Soberistas: Love Life in Control
Hello Sunday Morning
Join Club Soda


Download EP:106 Transcript

Cultural

First of all, let’s talk about alcohol in our culture and in our society. I think we have made a mistake and gotten ourselves a bit confused because we’ve done alcohol in every conceivable social situation. The last baby shower I was at, there was alcohol there, which, of course, the mom can’t even drink, so it’s kind of sad for her if she’s a drinker. The last funeral I was at, there was alcohol there as well, and of course, every barbecue, every social situation. The movie theater we normally go to recently opened a line for ordering beer and wine to go to the movies. We have made alcohol present in every social situation.

The Math Doesn’t Add Up

I think then it’s easy for us to say, “Well, alcohol equates being social and being together and community”, and then not drinking equals not being social and not being together and not being part of the community. I think that’s really sad because it’s just not true. You don’t have to look much further than kids or societies where drinking isn’t prevalent, like Hindu societies where they party for days on end for weddings and what not and don’t drink, to know that alcohol is part of our social life, but it’s not the glue that binds us humans together. There’s something much deeper than that and much more profound than that.

Social Creatures

That being said, we are social creatures. We desperately need connection. We desperately need to be part of something. When your part of something involves drinking, and then you don’t drink, you feel like a sore thumb. You feel like the odd person out, especially if a few people make odd comments to you about how boring you’re being. Then you can really internalize those things. I can definitely relate. That’s where feeling lonely alcohol free can happen.

Be Happy

First and foremost is to be 100% completely happy in your not drinking. Vegetarians don’t feel lonely. When I gave up soda, I didn’t feel lonely about it. That’s because the decision was mine and mine alone. Granted, being a vegetarian or not eating meat isn’t the same socially as drinking, but the decision really needs to be made completely for you. The decision needs to be made from a place of truly changing your perception and belief to where you realize with all of your mind that alcohol isn’t doing anything for you. So then giving it up isn’t about deprivation. It isn’t about messing out. It’s about everything you gain. That can help frm feeling lonely alcohol free.

Not Feeling Lonely Alcohol Free

It’s about how wonderful life can be living with a completely free mind and living with experiences without numbing them down and all of the good stuff about it. When you get your mind fully and completely in the right beliefs, in the right mentalities about alcohol where it comes not, “I don’t get to drink anymore”, but, “I don’t have to drink”, then you’ve automatically eliminated one part of that problem.

Start Reading

Wondering how to get past the fear of missing out and not feel lonely alcohol free? Start reading This Naked Mind for free to find out.

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Special music thank you to the Kevin MacLeod Funkorama (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

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