Tune in today as Annie Grace hears Steven’s Naked Life story! Follow along as Steven shares how he went from an all-American, non-drinking athlete in high school to slowly developing a problem with alcohol through college and into young adulthood and finally back to being rid of alcohol for good, thanks to This Naked Mind! Find out what made returning to being alcohol free ‘effortless’ for Steven and hear him share how weddings; St Patrick’s Day; playing with his kids; and literally everything is BETTER without drinking!

Episode Links:
Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr
Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck

Download EP:103 Transcript

My Story

I grew up in a nice, upper middle class town on Long Island. We had a good school so I went to public school and I was an athlete throughout middle school and high school. Never drank. I never really drank in high school except maybe one time my sophomore year. That time I got wasted. I enjoyed it at the time, but it just kind of a one time thing.

Good Kid

I really didn’t drink at all or do any drugs or anything like that until I graduated high school. So I was an athlete, I was a very good kid, a very clean kid with a lot of things. I did wholesome things while I was a kid and I had great parents. I had a lot of advantages. So it was a good upbringing. I can’t complain. Everything was wonderful.

The Usual

When I got into college, I did start drinking there. And I remember really enjoying it. Thinking it was, wow this is great. But it wasn’t like, the first time that I felt like, this is what I should be doing. It was just something that I thought was a lot of fun. And I did it kind of just like everybody else. I joined a fraternity. I did some cross country and track running in college and I quit about halfway through my sophomore year and it was actually a good decision at the time anyway. In the meantime, I continued to be an athlete. The fraternity was kind of like, in some ways, a bit of a glorified drinking club.

That was kind of the norm where I was. The special status of alcohol. Getting a hangover was like, wow you must have had fun last night or something.

Normal, right?

I really didn’t notice that my drinking was actually starting to ramp up until after I turned 21 and I was in my senior year of college. That was when I could buy liquor for myself. I could drink or buy beer for myself. It was really beer at the time. I would just be able to drink it any time that I wanted. Right around my early 20s, I would be drinking beer at times where normally I wouldn’t. I would be drinking beer when I was alone sometimes. But still totally in control and in control throughout my 20s.

Gray Area Drinking

Until, maybe by the time I was 30, I think I was kind of a gray area drinking. I started to be drinking rum and cokes by myself and be getting drunk and be thinking, why am I doing this? And not really having a good time doing it. So, it changed very slowly over time. It was a slow slide for me. And it wasn’t catalyzed by anything in particular. But, until I was a father to be.

Hard and Fast

When I met my wife, we got pregnant after being together four months. And it was really stressful for me. It was really really a hard time to make the adjustments that I needed to make. I was totally in love with her. That hadn’t happened. Within the first few months of meeting anybody. I was trying really hard to meet somebody before I met my wife. We got pregnant within four months. It was scary to me because I didn’t really know her. The whole time I had to quickly adjust because I always wanted to get married and have a family. It was kind of something that I was sort of programmed to do, but it was something that appealed to me. I wanted to have children. It was scary because I just didn’t really have the time to adjust. At that point, I started drinking in earnest to relieve stress.

It’s A Problem

My drinking really really ramped up at that time. My wife had had some people who had had problems with alcohol in her family. And, you know, I think we all kind of do anyway. I think she started to recognize it first. That my drinking was something that was off. I remember this one time in particular. This was maybe when my son was about a year old. It just kept getting worse and worse and worse. I remember just being totally wasted at the beach. The rum runners were really strong. A lot of liquor in them.

I kind of raised my hand to her because I was angry with her. Just in a manner to scare her. I definitely didn’t hit her.

What she was saying was like, during that time, “I was scared that you were gonna hit me.” And I was thinking, well I knew that I wasn’t going to, but it made me think, like what am I doing? You know what I mean? I’m being a tough guy now with my wife? It’s ridiculous.

You start to, you sink lower and lower and lower sometimes until you actually say, what the hell was that? What kind of a person am I? What have I become?

Need To Stop

She pleaded for me to start going to AA. I started going to AA right after that happened, because it was kind of like a flash-forward thing for me. Then, I struggled for about three years. I read Allen Carr’s “Easy Way to Stop Drinking,” Craig Beck’s “Alcohol Lied to Me.” Finally I read “This Naked Mind.” You were very believable in terms of what you were saying. Once I got through your book, I listened to it about ten times initially. Seriously. Because I wanted to make sure I got it through my head because it was working. It’s been about seven months now. And it’s the longest it’s ever been. But it’s not just that. It’s been effortless. It’s been wonderful.

Can Life Be Better Without Drinking?

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Special music thank you to the Kevin MacLeod Funkorama (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License