Tobie Presler


As a 60-something retired southern woman Tobie finds joy, connection, peace, freedom, and unapologetic self-acceptance born from her journey where she found freedom from alcohol in July 2021.

Most who know her would describe her as smart, caring, strong, determined, passionate, put your mind to it, pull up your boot straps, heart on your sleeve, it is what it is, what you see is what you get, and get it done kind of woman.  

What most never knew is how needy, sad, lonely, insecure, afraid, and miserable she was before the transformation she experienced from an alcohol infused life to an alcohol FREE life. 

For most of Tobie’s life a mindset of hustling for her worth persisted with its foundation cemented by a lifetime of obesity that started literally in her toddler years.   Living in the realm of never good enough, she has struggled in all of her roles from friend, daughter, sister, mother, and wife; deeply encompassed throughout her professional life. 

During her career as a special education teacher, administrator, non-profit founder and director, Tobie forged brave new frontiers, but despite her success, she always felt like she was failing. The same feelings seeped into motherhood, feeling shame and blame because of the intense struggles her family has faced. 

As a daddy’s girl, he taught her there is a sliver lining in every cloud if you are only willing to look for it.   Her mother, being a little more feisty yet equally a fan, preached anything worth having is hard work.  In the spirit of both, Tobie got tired of playing the victim, dug deep and found the courage to take responsibility for the state of her life, deciding she would not become the image in her mind of the old woman with disheveled gray hair, wearing a housedress and slippers, drinking herself into oblivion while blaming the world for all of her troubles.  In her heart she knew that is where her habit of emptying a bottle of wine daily was taking her.   

Because of the freedom she found after reading Annie Grace’s book, This Naked Mind, in 2018, and the learning that followed, Tobie now runs a single woman coaching business, Dragonfly Pearls, in the hopes of helping other 60-something women of faith live their best life on the other side of alcohol. She says, “Finding that book was no accident.  I believe it was divinely put in my path because God knew the truth about me.  He knew the depths of my struggle and even though I held a strong belief in Him the cycle of addiction had a grip on me, and finding This Naked Mind methodology helped me realize I was not bad, broken, or hopeless so I trusted the process and found true freedom from alcohol.  I got out of my own way, trusted I was exactly where I was meant to be, and the rest is history”. 

While Tobie has always felt profound joy in the magic of a well lit Christmas Tree, today, she is finding unequivocal joy in the simple things in life.  Few things have been as transformative as letting go of the old beliefs about alcohol she’d long accepted as truth.  In retirement, she is happily rebuilding her family relationships that were deteriorated by alcohol and is lovingly known by her husband as T, her two 30-something children as momma, madre’, TT, and mama Dukes, and her grandchildren as “B”.  Tobie lives in Rock Hill, S. C. in her newly renovated childhood home with her husband Charlie and miniature Schnauzer, Gracie.