Laura Deter

CERTIFIED NAKED MIND COACH

Laura has been caring for others all her adult life. Shortly after her youngest child moved out, Laura’s 92 year old parents began requiring live-in care. Because she had her business around everything else, Laura took on caring for them too. Since her parents lived on the other side of the country, she and her sister-in-law switched about every 6 weeks. Migrating continued through the year after Laura’s father passed and ended with Covid.

Caring for others is a wonderful thing, caring for yourself should be as important, if not more so. It took many years of overeating and over-drinking for Laura to figure that out. If one more person (other than a flight attendant) told her to put her own oxygen mask on first she would have been tempted to strangle them with it! The flight attendants tell you how to use a real oxygen mask, nobody else tells you how to prioritize yourself when it comes to caregiving.

During recovery from surgery for a torn rotator cuff, she took a hard look at her life. Her journal entries from those 2 years of caregiving and before, contained things like stress that felt like a whack-a-mole game, hangovers, insomnia, and nightmares about her parents living to the age of 110 and having to care for them for the rest of her life. All signs that she was truly burned out. Her alcohol use, which had been escalating over all those years of prioritizing everyone else, had gotten out of control too.

She had tried to quit over prior years, and just really learned to rely on willpower and how not to drink at rehab. That and AA really didn’t give her the skills or stamina to deal with the stressors of life without the numbing crutch of alcohol. She felt as though having one glass of wine would result in her drinking out of a paper bag on a street corner by the following week. She knew in her heart that wasn’t true. Nothing in life is that black and white. So she started drinking again and slid back into dependence on alcohol to relieve stress. The end result was spending the next few years attempting moderation semi-successfully. It felt like a long time until she found Annie Grace and her work.

It took several attempts before the education and especially the self-compassion sunk in, but Laura’s last drink was August 19, 2020. She could now put her own oxygen mask on first, by being loving and compassionate to herself. She learned that self care isn’t manicures and massages, but truly being kind and forgiving to yourself especially when you make mistakes. It’s about knowing that life and its journeys aren’t linear and that’s OK. Laura learned that she was good enough and not broken or powerless.

Going through This Naked Mind’s certification training taught her to hold space and love for others while they learned to find it for themselves. Because of her experience of caring for others, she understands the extra stress that caregivers go through and is well equipped to help them build a caregiving practice for themselves while caring for their loved one.

Visit her website or book a call to see how you can replace the mask of guilt and shame with one of love, forgiveness and compassion.